Early menopause (EM) can have significant impacts on a woman’s personal and intimate life, in particular because of symptoms of vaginal dryness and low libido. For the women we interviewed, the effects of EM on intimacy and personal life varied depending on whether women were partnered, single, and/or sexually active.
Experiences of women who were partnered when diagnosed with EM
Most women in relationships said that EM had affected their sexual life, but described having supportive partners who did not ‘pressure’ them to have sex. However, a few said it didn’t make ‘any difference,’ including Jessica, who experienced spontaneous EM at 39. She commented that with young children at the time, she had been ‘constantly exhausted anyway’ with little energy for sex. While most women said that vaginal dryness and low libido affected their sexual life, a few also shared that other EM symptoms – such as hot flushes – prevented them from being intimate with their partners.
> Click here to view the transcript
A couple of women noted that the loss of libido they experienced after EM meant that they had sex less frequently, or no longer ‘initiated’ it. Fiona, who experienced surgical menopause in relation to treatment for breast cancer, reflected on her sex life before and after EM: ‘it did kill my sex drive … it doesn’t stop me having sex, it just stops me wanting it … I’m not as sexually active, but I’m not missing what I don’t have either.’
> Click here to view the transcript
Women who were able to take Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) commented that the medication had helped with vaginal dryness. Anna, who experienced spontaneous EM at age 35, said, ‘now that I’ve gone through menopause I realise a lot of other positives to taking the Hormone Replacement Therapy… mainly around having pleasant sex … a dry vagina is quite painful. It really affects your sex life [and] relationship with your partner.’
> Click here to view the transcript
> Click here to view the transcript
Some women who were unable to take HRT because of experiences of oestrogen-sensitive cancer explained that lubricants could be useful to help with painful sex.
> Click here to view the transcript
Counselling and other support services were mentioned by a few women as useful in relation to dealing with the impact of EM on their sexual and intimate life.
> Click here to view the transcript
Some women who had experienced EM following surgeries such as a mastectomy felt that their low libido was connected to how their physical appearance had changed.
> Click here to view the transcript
Experiences of women who were single when diagnosed with EM
Several women we spoke with described being single when they were diagnosed with EM. A few were also dating, or had stopped dating but were interested in starting again. Some described feeling less attractive or as having less to ‘offer’ a prospective partner, either because they were infertile, or because of surgeries such as hysterectomy or mastectomy, which had affected their body image (see Emotional impact of early menopause and fertility loss (women’s experiences) and Early menopause and identity, social connection and future plans (women’s experiences)).
Ella’s diagnosis of spontaneous EM at 30 meant that, ‘in the back of my mind is I guess there are many reasons to be rejected, and one of them is because you can’t have kids … it’s that society thing, you meet someone and the next step is you have kids.’ Alex, who experienced ovarian cancer and underwent a radical hysterectomy, commented: ‘I feel less of a woman … You feel less attractive because you’re not offering the possibility of life.’ She added that she wished ‘there was a dating site for people … who have had cancer … It would just be nice to date people that you don’t have to explain cancer to and chemo and side effects.’
> Click here to view the transcript
> Click here to view the transcript
One single woman who already had children and did not want more, Mary, described wanting to increase her libido and enjoy having sex.
> Click here to view the transcript
Further information:
Talking Points (Women)
- Emotional impact of early menopause and fertility loss
- IVF, fertility preservation and other paths to parenthood
- Early menopause and identity, social connection and future plans
- Impact of early menopause on relationships
Talking Points (Health Practitioners)
Other resources
- Webpage: Menopause, sex and relationships (Jean Hailes)
- Webpage: Premature and early menopause (Jean Hailes)
- Booklet: Breast cancer and early menopause: a guide for young women (Cancer Australia)
- Booklet: Supporting your partner through breast cancer (BCNA)
- Video: Menopause – will it affect my sex life? (AMS)